Author: Alvis
Today we are going to talk about the top player in the currency circle, the ceiling of the fraud world, and the contemporary master of Ponzi behavior art - SBF (Sam Bankman-Fried)'s latest show: after squatting in prison for two years, suddenly tweeting, crying about the difficulty of being unemployed, while causing their own air coin FTT to skyrocket by 40%! What kind of magical plot is this? Do you think he has found his conscience? No, this is version 2.0 of the leek harvesting machine!
Tweet content: Transition from “Coin Circle Jia Yueting” to “Chicken Soup Master”
SBF’s tweet can be called ‘The Workplace PUA Textbook,’ with one core argument: ‘Layoffs are not your fault, it’s the company’s fault!’ This brother affectionately expresses: ‘Laid-off employees are all innocent, the company didn’t give them suitable positions, didn’t match them with good leaders, the working environment is too poor… In short, it’s all the boss’s fault!’
By this point, I almost thought he was switching to become an HR instructor. But on second thought, no way! Aren’t you the ultimate boss who bankrupted the company, cheated 8 million users, and embezzled 8 billion USD of customer funds to gamble in Las Vegas? And now you’re pretending to be a workplace saint? Your acting skills deserve an Oscar!
What’s even more outrageous is that he also hitched a ride on the hot topic of Musk’s ‘restructuring of the US government efficiency department’, saying that he hadn’t ‘checked his emails for hundreds of days’ and sympathizing with the civil servants who were forced to write weekly reports. Good grief, are you squatting in a prison or a five-star resort? When ordinary office workers lose their jobs, they have to swipe through job-hunting apps, but when you lose your job, are you nibbling on vegetarian meals in Brooklyn penitentiary (and complaining about the poor prison food)? Can the two be compared?
FTT soared 30%: Leeks only have a memory of 7 seconds
The most magical thing is, as soon as this tweet came out, FTX’s coffin token FTT actually took off in place, rising by 40% in 15 minutes! The leeks seemed to have collective amnesia, forgetting that this guy had been sentenced to 25 years long ago, FTX users still have 8 billion USD unrecovered, and forgetting the brutal fact that FTT, which peaked at $85, now only has $1.75 left. This move made me deeply understand a truth: in the currency circle, even dog poop coated with gold can be called NFT!
But don’t be too happy too early, I’ll throw a bucket of cold water on you: this surge is purely the market maker’s way of borrowing a corpse to bring a dead soul back to life! SBF’s tweet was posted on February 25th, and his account has long been under court supervision. The tweet was most likely carefully planned by the legal team as a ‘palliative care’ measure. The market maker laid an ambush in advance, retail investors followed suit, a sudden surge and plunge in 30 minutes, perfectly harvesting a wave of liquidity. What is ‘graveyard disco-style trading’? This is it!
SBF’s “Road to Movie Emperor”: From Teenage Genius to Tears Behind Bars
Epic car crash scene in court
SBF’s trial can be called the “Coin Circle Chronicles” of “Rule of Law Online”. The prosecution accuses him of seven serious crimes, with evidence including:
Misappropriating client funds to make high-stakes bets for Alameda hedge fund (lost 8 billion and still insisted ‘I just miscalculated the expected value’).
Instigating ex-girlfriend to forge account book (love and work are both fine, known as ‘time management master’);
Bribing officials in the Bahamas (directly written in the chat logs as ‘find Ryan Salame :p’).
Confronted with solid evidence, SBF’s defense strategy is: ‘I forgot,’ ‘Employees prevented me from asking,’ ‘All rumors spread by competitors.’ Even the judge couldn’t stand it and bluntly said: ‘I’ve been a judge for 30 years and have never seen such an absurd defendant!’ This level, even An Lingrong from ‘Empresses in the Palace’ could act better than him!
Unpublished 15,000-word essay: the peak of self-motivation
As early as 2023, SBF wrote a 15,000-word Twitter draft, with the core idea being: “I did what I thought was right.” Translated into plain language: “I cheated, I ran away, I went to jail, but I’m a good boy!” What’s even more extreme is that two months before the collapse of FTX, he drafted a tweet to “shut down Alameda,” but because the company owed FTX 14 billion US dollars and didn’t pay it back, he ultimately chose to play dead. This move can be described as “I predicted that I would soon commit a crime”!
Why are SBF’s tears not valuable? Because there is no word “responsibility” in his dictionary.
Hypocritical persona: from “effective altruism” to “effective blame-shifting”
SBF initially gained popularity by portraying himself as a proponent of ‘effective altruism,’ claiming that he would donate money to poor people in Africa. The reality? The money was all donated to his own hedge fund and Bahamian officials. It’s like Luo Yonghao saying ‘acquiring Apple to provide benefits to fans,’ but then turning around to livestream the sale of knockoff phones!
What’s even more ironic is that his dad, Joseph Bankman (a professor at Stanford Law School), secretly accepted a $5.5 million donation from FTX for Stanford and instructed ‘Don’t publicize it, too conspicuous.’ What a ‘charitable academic family,’ just like the White family in Breaking Bad!
Prison Life: The Ultimate Nightmare for Vegetarians
According to lawyer SBF’s revelation, he became thin as a skeleton in prison because he couldn’t eat vegan meals and also encountered ‘multiple extortions.’ Master Banfo’s comment: If he had known earlier, he should have stocked up on Beyond Meat stocks! However, compared to the retail investors who were ruined by him, what’s a little suffering? It is recommended that the prison canteen introduce the ‘Leek Box Meal’ to let him eat it every day until he understands life!
Insights for ordinary people: How to avoid becoming SBF’s leek?
Beware of ‘genius storytelling’
The currency circle loves to deify, from Do Kwon to SBF, essentially all ‘using mystery to cover up air coins’. Remember: real geniuses don’t have time to tweet every day, they’re either writing code or long gone - Satoshi Nakamoto!
Understand ‘regulatory arbitrage’
SBF registered the company in the Bahamas because local regulation is virtually non-existent. Remember: any project that claims to be ‘globally compliant’ while having its headquarters on a tropical island is likely preparing to run away with the funds at any time!
Understand ‘Token Economics’
Why can FTT rise? Because the market makers need to pull up the market to sell! The essence of tokens is not technology, but “casino chips”. Once the exchange collapses, the chips become worthless paper. Refer to the curve of FTT’s drop from $85 to $1.7, this drop is more stimulating than a roller coaster, it is recommended to rename it FTT (Falling Toilet Token)!
Conclusion: The sickle never sleeps, and the leeks need to protect themselves
SBF’s tweet farce is essentially a ‘prison internet celebrity debut ceremony.’ His goal is very clear: to gain sympathy, clean up his image, and pave the way for a comeback after a reduced sentence or release from prison in the future. But I advise everyone: ‘Crocodile tears won’t save the leeks, the only thing that can protect you is not carrying more than 5% of idle money in your pocket!’
Finally, I’d like to leave everyone with a profound saying: “In the world of cryptocurrency, one day equals ten years on earth. If you want to avoid losses, stay away from the K-line chart!” See you next time!
