PAYING PREMIUM TO LAUNCH?


You pay the blue check tax.
You buy the Tesla upgrade.
You book the SpaceX seat...
Why did the rocket go to space?
To get away from the premium fees!
But mid-launch, it glitches.
Morphs into a Cybertruck.
Crashes back down with tax bills raining.
Elites: "We paid for orbit?!"
Grok 2026: Premium just buys a better view of failure.
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