SmallBurger

My older brother is turning 30 soon this year. During Chinese New Year, my mom dragged him to seven or eight blind dates. Yesterday he met another girl who works at a bank, and the two of them were awkwardly chatting in my living room.
After my mom finished serving fruit, she hid in the kitchen.
The girl has a pretty good personality, just a bit naive and takes things very literally.
Halfway through their conversation, my brother felt the atmosphere was too dull, so he casually made a joke:
"Honestly, my standards aren't that high. If you're busy after we get married and don't have time to kee

A colleague went to ask the boss for compensatory time off.
Upon entering the office, he heard a coworker say: "Okay, I'll fix it tomorrow."
He quickly said: "Boss, I'd like to take tomorrow off too."
The boss paused and said: "Alright then, you two go together tomorrow. If you can fix that toilet, fix it. If you can't, just replace it."

My friend was sick and needed an IV drip.
The one giving him the injection was an intern nurse.
She poked and prodded for a long time but couldn't find the vein.
He was in so much pain, grimacing and gritting his teeth.
With no other choice, he called for the head nurse.
The head nurse had great technique.
She smoothly inserted the needle into the vein in one go.
Then she immediately pulled it out.
She handed the needle to the intern nurse and said:
"Did you see that clearly? Now you try again!"

I have a distant cousin who, during the New Year, has gone on ten blind dates. The first nine all fell through over bride price disputes, with his mother always complaining that the bride's family asked for too much and refusing to compromise.
My cousin was fed up with his mother's fussing and finally snapped, "Mom, how about I find you someone who’s absolutely perfect for you? Very easygoing, only a few hundred bucks for the bride price, and if you don’t like her, you can return her. I’ll never argue with you again, whatever you say goes, I’ll be 100% obedient!"
His mother’s eyes lit up: "Rea

Just now, my hometown called saying they want to divide the land
I didn't want to go back at first
But the officials kept calling
I got up early in the morning
Hit the highway to go home
Only to find that the land being divided is "You Are Truly Sweet"

The fortune-teller actually managed to buy a villa worth tens of millions in Beijing
Accompanying mom to visit a temple fair, Aunt Wang next door pulls me to see the fortune-teller
The man in front is calculating his financial luck, and the gentleman pats his chest: "Rest assured, I will make money. My daughter has already bought a villa worth tens of millions in Beijing, I predicted it long ago."
I whisper to Aunt Wang: "With this kind of background, why suffer here selling stuff at a stall?"
The people nearby instantly fall silent, all turning to look at me, the atmosphere freezes
Aunt Wang

I have a friend
During the New Year, she went back to the village to visit her grandparents
And then she got her period
Went to the village convenience store to buy sanitary pads
The shopkeeper said she hasn't carried these in years
Everyone in the village is already menopausal

Went to get a tooth pulled today.
The doctor said it wouldn't hurt much, just bear with it.
Plus, the anesthesia is very expensive.
I agreed.
As a result, I was so in pain that I broke out in a cold sweat in the middle of winter.
When I was leaving, I asked casually how much the anesthesia cost.
Doctor: "6.9 dollars."

I've seen matchmakers before, but I've never seen someone talk nonsense with such confidence. I would call this business skill the ceiling of matchmaking.
Matchmaker: What do you do for a living?
Male: What kind of job? I just like to smoke a bit and drink some wine.
Matchmaker: A wine drinker.
Female: A graduate student?
Matchmaker: Yes, a wine drinker.
Male: I deliver packages in the city.
Matchmaker: He owns a piece of land in the city.
Female: I just finished five years of sewing machine work.
Matchmaker: Haven't interacted with boys in nearly five years, very good character.
Female: I hav

I finally achieved complete financial freedom!
I checked my account, and the savings are steady at 19,730,600, no more, no less, focusing on precision.
I bought a 2026 model fully loaded A6L, with a starry sky ceiling and full seat massage. When I picked up the car, the sales guy looked at me with admiration.
Then I also purchased a lakeside villa in the city center, five floors with a private garden and outdoor pool, costing 7 million, without even blinking.
Friends around me keep asking what trend I caught, how I suddenly turned the tables.
All I can say is, "It's not that hard, as long as y