Ironed

🫣

$BTC Bitcoin has begun recovering its positions after a recent correction, when speculators were shaken out from their positions and long positions were significantly reduced.

$BTC The crypto market is showing more confident momentum than many traditional assets amid the Middle East conflict
The growth is linked to inflows into ETFs, which have been observed throughout last week
Bitcoin may return to a trajectory of sustainable growth; to confirm this thesis, the price should break above the $80 ,000-85,000 cluster and consolidate higher

$ETH — Why did you buy Ethereum?
— To buy a house in 5 years.
— What if it doesn't go up?
— Then I'll buy more Ethereum and wait another 5 years.

$BTC A trader comes to see a neurologist complaining that his hands are shaking and his left eye is twitching. The doctor asks him: "And how do you sleep?" "Well, I sleep like a baby! I wake up every hour and cry."

$BTC — How much do you need to invest in crypto on average to make a million dollars in a year?
— Two million should be enough, I'm sure.

$BTC A wife asks a dying trader: — What should I do with the money we invested on the exchange?
— Give it to the grandchildren! Let them buy themselves pizza…

$BTC Bloomberg strategist Mike McGlone reiterates his bearish forecast that bitcoin could fall below the $10 000 mark, asserting that the cryptocurrency market continues to experience a prolonged sell-off driven by macroeconomic factors.
Several analysts question the likelihood of such a sharp decline, stating that a move to the $10,000 level would likely require an extreme global liquidity crisis or another extraordinary shock.
While some market participants see potential for further downside, overall they expect bitcoin to gradually decline or trade in a wide range rather than crash, with s

$BTC – I dream of earning 1 bitcoin a month, like my father.
– Your father earns 1 bitcoin a month?!
– No, he dreams about it too...

$BTC One day, a merchant appeared in a village and announced to the residents that he would buy monkeys from them for $10. The villagers, seeing how many monkeys were in the jungle, abandoned their plots and began catching monkeys. The merchant bought thousands of monkeys for $10, but the number of monkeys began to decrease and catching them became increasingly difficult.
Then the merchant raised the reward for catching each monkey to $20. And the people began catching monkeys again. Soon food in the village became scarce and the villagers slowly began returning to their fields. The merchant

$BTC — How to quickly and effectively get rid of an experienced crypto analyst who knows the entry point for a trade and is ready to share that knowledge with you?
— Buy him pizza and close the door.

$BTC An analyst is asked:
— Tell me, do your forecasts always come true?
— Of course, always, it's just that the dates sometimes don't match…

$BTC Dear newly-minted investors, don't burn your savings on the exchange on your own, do it under the guidance of an experienced investment advisor!

$BTC When everyone is confident about the direction of movement, the market usually reminds us that it does not take orders.

$BTC Risk assets may receive support, and Bitcoin could return to around $75 thousand if there is no further escalation of the Iranian conflict and no new global shocks.

$BTC Crypto market analyst — an expert who will understand tomorrow why what he predicted yesterday did not happen today.

$BTC Since all indicators are currently at their lows, now is a great time to take a bullish position and expect the markets to shift to a positive trend within the next 12-24 months.

As shown by the Bitcoin chart analysis conducted by the smart chatbot WarrenAI, the current technical picture appears ambiguous, balancing between a recovery attempt and the risk of forming a "bull trap."
Prices are stuck in a complex range, trading significantly below the 200-day moving average, which is currently around $95 900. This fundamentally confirms that the long-term trend remains bearish despite local rebounds.

#FebNonfarmPayrollsUnexpectedlyFall The number the market wasn't prepared for
#FebNonfarmPayrollsUnexpectedlyFall · March 6, 2026
Consensus was +55,000.
Reality: -92,000.
This isn't a miss. It's a turning point.
The third negative employment number in five months — and the market felt each of these three words simultaneously. Unemployment hit 4.4%. The shock was so strong it triggered a universal reaction: reduce risk, increase cash, ask questions later.
Instant reaction
Bitcoin dropped over 5% on the day of the release and fell below $69 ,000.
Bitcoin ETF outflows hit $228 million in a singl