LargeAccountNotes

# An Old Middle School Classmate
I hadn't been in touch with a middle school classmate in years. He said he was coming to town for some business, so I picked him up at the station and took him out for dinner.
After dinner, he suggested organizing a karaoke night with our old classmates to have some fun.
I said I had something to do that evening. He said there's no way my business would take all night—he'd take the classmates to sing first, and I could join him after I finished. I could come over later.
I said sure, go ahead and sing, but I might not be able to make it since I'd probably be don

My cousin called me the day before yesterday and asked if I had social insurance.
He said to lend him my social insurance to use for a payment. I know about using medical insurance to buy medicine and such, but I'd never heard of using social insurance for payments.
I asked him how that would work. He said to go to the bank and pay a few cents, just go through the process.
His explanation confused me. I said, "Then don't use social insurance. If you're short on money, I can just give it to you directly. Why make it so complicated?"
He was vague about it, so I pressed him further. I asked if so

In the morning waiting in line at an amusement park
We were queued up nicely when suddenly someone cut in front
Then we questioned why they cut in line
They just looked dismissive and said I didn't cut in front of you
Look, everyone else has no problem, why do you two have an opinion
Everyone waiting in line around us said nothing, just watched us argue
Then my friend loudly asked, do you all have no problem with cutting in line?
Asked several times but still no one said anything
My friend pulled me directly to the very front of the line and we cut in as number one
Still no one said anything..

A fortune-teller who traveled around was summoned by the county magistrate.
The county magistrate said to him: "Among the three people sitting beside me, one is my wife, and the others are her maids. If you can identify which one is my wife, I will forgive your crimes. Otherwise, if you set up a fortune-telling stall in this county again, I will punish you for 'spreading false rumors to deceive the masses!'"
The fortune-teller looked at the three women, whose clothing, hairstyles, and ages were identical, and whose faces were all expressionless. He then said to the magistrate: "Such a simple m

My cousin married a wealthy second-generation rich guy who had a six-month-old son. The child's biological mother died from amniotic fluid embolism during childbirth, and my cousin promised to care for the child as if he were her own.
I visited their home once, and that child only drank distilled water, ate only organic vegetables and imported poultry and seafood from abroad. My cousin was exceptionally patient with the child—she never hit or scolded him when he misbehaved, only gently reasoned with him.
Everyone praised her for being such a good stepmother. Unfortunately, this didn't last lon

A man encountered an elderly person who had collapsed on his way to work and immediately took him to the hospital. Since he didn't have much money on him, he called his girlfriend for help.
As soon as his girlfriend entered the ward, she started scolding him: "Are you sick? Why are you meddling in other people's business?"
When she saw the elderly man on the bed, she was startled: "Dad!"
The old man glanced at his girlfriend and said to him: "Young man, you're a good person. She's not worthy of you. Break up with my daughter."
After being discharged from the hospital, the old man told his daug

Yesterday, a man on a motorcycle was preparing to queue up to get on the highway when a sedan in front suddenly backed up and hit him directly.
Afterwards, a female driver got out of the car and quickly apologized to the motorcycle owner. The man, seeing her sincere attitude, was very generous and said: "Forget about it. You don't need to pay for the repair costs. Just pay attention to what's behind you when you back up next time."
I thought the matter would be settled just like that, but then a toll booth worker suddenly walked over and told the female driver: "Motorcycles are not allowed on

Someone is willing to introduce you to a romantic partner
But nobody is willing to introduce you to a good job
Introducing a romantic partner means treating you as a resource to introduce to others
Introducing a good job means introducing good resources to you
Everyone is selfish, everyone fears you living a good life

# Those Cold Facts That Fooled You for Years
People say you were the fastest sperm running in back then.
The truth is: The egg has a protective layer called the "zona pellucida." Many sperm are actually much faster than you. They released acrosomal enzymes, dissolving the zona pellucida, but they all exhausted themselves and died outside the door.
Even so, many sperm kept charging forward one after another, finally dissolving the zona pellucida. By that time, they had all already "disappeared." It just happened to be your turn. You walked down the path your fellow sperm had opened, seized the

A former university classmate we weren't even in the same class with, and we've never had any real connection. Today he suddenly created a group chat and added six of us.
He immediately says: "Bros, I'm getting married. My wife's family requires us to buy a car worth 200,000 yuan. I don't have the money on hand, so I'm reaching out to you brothers. Each of you lend me 10,000 yuan to cover the down payment. If any of you are well-off, you could lend me a bit more."
At first I thought he was joking. People in the group were making jokes and laughing. But then this guy emphasized again in the gro

# This Year's 315 Gala Exposed 9 Major Counterfeit Products
**First:** "Russian imported camel milk powder" purchased at 7 yuan wholesale sold for 229 yuan, but actually contains soy flour
**Second:** Internet-famous beef tripe workshop workers smoking, damaged floor conditions
**Third:** Liu Wenxiang spicy hotpot exposed using duck meat instead of beef and pork
**Fourth:** Meiyijia convenience stores with over 40,000 nationwide branches exposed selling counterfeit cigarettes at multiple locations
**Fifth:** Freeze-dried strawberries detected with heavy metals exceeding standards by 14 times,

# University Classmate Still Single - A Tech Guy!
A university classmate of mine is still single and a tech enthusiast! He has stable and substantial income, owns a house and car, and loves playing games in his free time.
I've been to his place - the interior is clean and tidy, decorated in a minimalist yet sophisticated style. His computer room is luxurious with an ergonomic gaming chair and high-end computer peripherals.
His favorite game is a really old one called "Legend!" He even runs his own private server and plays it solo like a single-player game - he says it's incredibly fun!
As for

Funeral Home Employee Handbook
1. There are no ghosts in this world. Employees are prohibited from spreading ghost stories about the funeral home. Violators will be terminated immediately.
2. If you see a small hill mysteriously appear within the funeral home grounds, pretend you don't see it and never mention it to anyone. Remember, anyone who sees the hill is forbidden from going to the North Building. If any clients say they've seen the hill, immediately escort them out of the funeral home.
3. When alone in a room with a body, no matter what happens, you cannot talk to yourself. Otherwise,

I just saw the news today
Na Ying moved 4.5 billion in assets overseas
You see, that's the difference—wealthy people never complain about society, they just change locations

You guys can easily deceive these female college students—they've been fooled stupid.
I know an older sister who runs an auto care shop. She has a young guy there who drives a Mercedes-C with over 200,000 kilometers and accident damage. The front fender is so dented you can stick four fingers into it.
But every time he brings a different girlfriend, they're all extremely beautiful—tall, clean, and fair-skinned.
I asked my sister: where does he find all these girlfriends? She said, "I do some small business near the college district. When I have time, I go to the schools to pick up these young

2008, high school boys' dorm, after lights out.
I had a high fever and was delirious, my whole body burning hot.
The guy in the upper bunk told me to take off my shirt, then got down and pulled out a bottle of 56-proof Erguotou, poured it into a stainless steel rice bowl, and set it on fire.
In the darkness of the dorm, that pale blue flame looked particularly eerie. Before I could even ask if he was about to sacrifice me, he'd already plunged his hand into the fire.
He literally stuck his hand right in, soaked it in the still-burning alcohol, and slapped it hard across my back.
That moment fe

This afternoon I went to the temple to burn incense.
I asked the master why so many people can't achieve great things?
Master: Let me ask you a question. Between these two puppies, which one do you like better?
Me: I like both of them quite a bit.
Master: If I made you choose and could only keep one, and had to get rid of the other, how would you choose?
Me: I'd choose the smaller yellow one.
Master: Actually, you're both wrong. Me: Why?
You should eliminate the person causing you problems. I ca

I saw something true online: A woman from Jiaxing, Zhejiang was defrauded of 20 million yuan online—make sure you read that correctly, it's twenty million!
The woman, in tears, said something shocking to the police officer: "Please don't tell my husband, and don't release this as a case report. With just this bit of money, I can go back to my parents' home and cry for a bit and I'll have it."
I don't know if she actually cried, but I know she made me cry...